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It's All Relevant

This Blog Is About This & That..

Why Power Imbalance Is Dangerous:
Posted:Mar 28, 2024 4:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:33 am
124 Views

Safety Risk: When there is an imbalance, the submissive can be pressured, coerced, and forced into things they are not comfortable with. This will lead to emotional and physical harm.

Predatory Behavior: It is important to recognize that some may use the idea of D/S as a cover to manipulate and abuse their partners. Those who intentionally create and exploit a power imbalance are not true dominants, they are predators.

Lack of Trust: A healthy lifestyle relationship thrives on trust and open communication. If one partner has the power, trust cannot flourish.

Unsustainable Dynamic: Relationships built on an imbalance are inherently unequal and this leads to resentment and dissatisfaction for both partners.

The Importance Of Education:
Education is key to navigating complex interpersonal dynamics, including those involving power dynamics. A strong understanding of communication, consent, and respect is crucial for healthy relationships of any kind but especially true to avoid power imbalances in D/S. Here are some great places to start:

Books:
The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton
This is two books, not one but they go hand in hand. If you are dominant, or top, start with The New Topping Book or if you are submissive, or bottom, start with The New Bottoming Book. Once you have finished the one that aligns with you, carry on and read the one about the other side of the proverbial slash. These books are straightforward while covering all the bases, from roles, the community, playtime, and most importantly SAFETY.

How to be Kinky: A Beginner's Guide to BDSM by Morpheous
For singles and couples looking to take a walk on the wild side but questioning where to begin, How to Be Kinky offers the perfect starting place. Instead of emphasizing techniques and clinical issues, it takes a more practical approach, with advice on finding a scene, negotiating kinky play with a partner, maintaining boundaries, kinky uses for common household objects, and the proper protocol at fetish events, as well as the basics of BDSM play and role-playing - Description from Amazon

Ultimate Guide to Kink edited by Tristan Taormino
The Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first major guide to BDSM in a generation--a bold and sexy collection of essays that run the gamut from expert how-to tutorials to provocative essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power, and pleasure. The book brings together diverse voices from the kink community in an unprecedented way: each chapter is written by a different sexuality/BDSM educator. Divided into two sections, the first section features thorough, thoughtful pieces--on everything from flogging to bondage--packed with techniques and beautifully illustrated with original images from artist Katie Diamond. The second section is dedicated to role-playing fantasies and personal manifestos. From age play to masochism, these chapters cover some of the edgiest, most taboo, and controversial elements of kink in depth -Description from Amazon.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Molly Devon and Philip Miller.
The classic guide to sadomasochism by two experienced players. This unabashed, entertaining book strips away myth, shame, and fear, revealing the truth about an intense form of eroticism too long misunderstood and condemned. It is fully indexed and includes over 225 photos and illustrations, and a 250-plus word glossary -Description from Amazon.

Websites:
Submissive Guide - A community where submissive mentoring, self-taught training, and BDSM exploration are in focus. We are dedicated to helping submissives understand themselves and the service they wish to provide; from sexual to domestic, personal assistant to pain slut, and everything in between. Browse the site for tips, information, and resources to help you improve your submission with or without a partner.

FetLife - FetLife is the most popular social network for the BDSM, fetish & kinky community but this is not here because of its popularity. One amazing thing that FetLife makes very easy is connecting to your local in-person community. Just tap the events tab and you can find out what classes, meet-ups (called munches), and other events are happening right in your neck of the woods. Local kink communities are a fantastic source of support, information, and lifestyle education.

Identifying And Communicating Needs Effectively:
Healthy D/S relationships rely on open communication and mutual respect. As a submissive, understanding and expressing your own needs is just as important as understanding your dominant partner's desires.

Here are some tips to help you identify and communicate your needs effectively:

Self-awareness: Take time to reflect on your desires and boundaries. What kind of scenes do you enjoy? Are there specific limits you have? Journaling or meditation can be helpful tools for self-discovery.

Clear Communication: Once you understand your needs, communicate them clearly and concisely to your dominant partner. Use "I" statements to express your desires (e.g., "I would feel more comfortable if..." or "I would enjoy it more if..." ).

Open Dialogue: Maintain an open dialogue with your partner. Healthy negotiation and compromise are key to ensuring both partners' needs are met within the dynamic.

Open Communication and Healthy Boundaries:
Healthy D/S relationships rely on open communication and mutual respect. This includes establishing boundaries around communication styles. A touch of mystery can add intrigue to your D/S dynamic, but there is a crucial difference between a playful mystery and a dominant one that constantly withholds emotions or intentions. This can create an imbalance of power and leave you feeling confused, insecure, or unsure of where you stand.

Red Flags of Manipulation:
Emotional Distance: A dominant who prioritizes mystery over emotional connection might be using it to manipulate you. This can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of where you stand.

Mind Games: Does your partner use cryptic messages or vague instructions to keep you guessing? This can be a manipulative tactic to control your behavior and make you feel dependent on them for clarification.

Emotional Unavailability: A healthy dominant should be emotionally supportive, even if they maintain a bit of mystery. If yours is consistently distant or unavailable, it might be a sign they are not invested in a genuine connection.
Remember: Trust is the foundation of a healthy D/S dynamic. This means open communication about your needs and desires. If the mystery is causing you anxiety or confusion, speak up! A dominant who prioritizes a healthy relationship will be happy to adjust their approach to foster a safe and fulfilling experience for you.

Do Not Be Afraid To Set Boundaries:
If the mystery feels manipulative or controlling, do not be afraid to set boundaries. Communicate that you need more emotional connection and clarity to feel comfortable. A dominant will respect your needs and adjust their behavior accordingly.

Are They Playing Games?
Ultimately, the excessive mystery is a red flag. It is important to be aware of tactics that manipulate your emotions and keep you off-balance. If open communication does not address your concerns, it might be best to step away from the dynamic and seek a partner who prioritizes trust and emotional connection.

Waiting And The Red Flag Of Power Imbalance In D/S:
A dominant keeping their submissive waiting for a day or two is a red flag for a developing power imbalance in D/S. Here is why:

Manipulation Tactic: In a healthy dynamic, communication is open and respectful. Excessive waiting, especially if unexplained, can be used to manipulate the submissive's emotions. It might create anxiety or a feeling of needing to constantly be "available" to the dominant.

Unilateral Control: D/S is about consensual exchange, not unilateral control. If waiting is used to control the submissive's access to communication or the dynamic itself, it is a serious issue.
Focus On Communication:
Open communication is crucial. The submissive should feel comfortable expressing if the waiting is causing distress. A dominant will be receptive to this feedback and work towards a communication style that feels balanced and respectful for both partners.

Your comfort and well-being are paramount. If the waiting behavior creates an imbalance or causes distress, do not hesitate to address it directly. In a worst-case scenario, walking away from the dynamic and seeking a partner who prioritizes healthy communication is always an option.

Another potential red flag to be aware of is how needs are handled within a D/S dynamic.

D/S Neediness And The Power Dynamic.
Healthy Neediness In D/S:

Open Communication: Dominant partners in a healthy D/S dynamic appreciate open communication of needs, including emotional needs. This fosters trust and intimacy within the dynamic.

Boundaries and Negotiation: However, neediness should be expressed within agreed-upon boundaries and through negotiation.
Neediness And Power Imbalance:

Manipulation: A dominant who withholds communication or affection to exploit a submissive's neediness is engaging in manipulative behavior. This creates an unhealthy power imbalance.

Addressing Neediness When A Dominant Waits Or Withholds Feelings:
If a dominant's behavior (waiting, withholding feelings) is causing the submissive to feel insecure or overly needy:

Open Communication: Direct and honest communication is key. The submissive should express how the dominant's behavior is impacting them.
Reassessing Boundaries: It might be necessary to renegotiate boundaries or communication styles to ensure both partners feel comfortable and respected.
Remember:
Safety and Comfort: A healthy D/S dynamic prioritizes the safety and comfort of both partners.

Mutually Fulfilling: The dynamic should be mutually fulfilling, with open communication of needs and desires.
If the dominant's behavior creates an imbalance or the submissive feels persistently uncomfortable, it is best to re-evaluate the dynamic or seek a partner who prioritizes open communication and mutual respect.

D/S exploration, when approached thoughtfully and carefully, can be a powerful tool for exploration. However, avoiding power imbalances is crucial. Healthy D/S thrives on consent, mutual respect, clear communication, and a safe environment for all partners. The resources mentioned here can be a springboard for further exploration and education. Remember, trust and emotional connection are the cornerstones of a healthy dynamic, not manipulation or control. As you embark on this path, prioritize your well-being and commit to ongoing education to ensure a fulfilling D/S experience.

Edward Volkl
4 Comments
3 AM Thoughts
Posted:Mar 27, 2024 2:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2024 6:41 pm
562 Views
When the air is charged with electricity and sleep is ages away, even if my clock promises the swift arrival of dawn, when the sheets and blankets are too warm on my skin even in the chill of winter, when darkness and solitude cease to be companions and become conspirators, bullying me into my memory of him.

My body remembers his hands, his mouth - oh god, his mouth - and how his lightest touch could spark ecstasy and his quietest whisper could instill obedience, even in the throes of that ecstasy. He is imprinted under my skin, the weight of his body over mine. the pressure of those relentless hands, the lightning strikes of his agile tongue.

My ears remember his heartbeat, thundering under his skin, his sighs of impatience, and the guttural gasp just before he roared out his pleasure into me, over me, through me. But mostly they remember his silence, his quiet patience, how he taught with actions instead of just words.

My mouth remembers him - the resilience of warm, salt-sweaty skin over rigid flesh, the scalding heat of his release, the sweetness of his kisses, the dark richness of his laughter. My mouth remembers the words he taught me - I never knew the intensity of “please” until he was through with me.

These are the nights I am restless, my hands are restless on my body. Nights where there isn’t enough pain to dull the ache in my chest or enough orgasms to make me forget the blinding intensity of the ones he gave me. And without him, they are hollow, pale, feeble imitations of what should be.
8 Comments
Sculpting Desire
Posted:Mar 23, 2024 3:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2024 3:13 am
1937 Views


In the realm of the submissive, she stands,
With curves that sculpt desires, soft and grand.
Her callipygian, a mesmerizing sight,
Captivates the dominant, igniting his delight.
In his hands, she finds surrender, her soul alight.

The dominant revels in every touch,
Spanking, caressing, a dance they clutch.
Each stroke, a declaration of his control,
A symphony of sensations, taking its toll.
Their bond deepens, as their desires unfold.

She offers herself, a canvas to display,
His fingers traced paths, in a seductive array.
Each mark, is a testament to their fiery connection,
As they explore the realms of passion's intersection.
In their shared ecstasy, they find perfection.

He delights in showcasing his prized possession,
Proudly displaying her, without repression.
For she is not just his submissive, but his muse,
In her submission, he finds his strength, his fuse.
Together, they embrace their desires, unafraid to choose.

Their journey unfolds in whispers and moans,
In the tender caress and the passionate groans.
Bound by trust and fueled by desire's flame,
They navigate the depths of pleasure's domain.
In their union, they find ecstasy, without shame.

In the dance of dominance and submission's embrace,
They discover a love that cannot be replaced.
For in each other's arms, they find their release,
Their passion, their solace, their eternal peace.
In their connection, they find joy that will never cease.



©TLK2024
7 Comments
Love & Seduction
Posted:Mar 19, 2024 2:34 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2024 2:52 am
3053 Views

Love her like a princess, respect her like a queen, treat her like a lady, Ravage her like a vixen. When the bedroom doors are closed and the lights go out, Set aside the gentleman and his manners. Unleash the wolf and devour her desire. Kiss her forcefully. Embrace her powerfully. Pull her hair passionately. Overwhelm her hunger and leave her craving more.

Love her like a gentleman. Make love to her with primal ferocity. Be a force of nature and sweep her away. Whisper gently in her ear as you kiss her cheek, hold her close as you feel her breath upon your skin. Feel her body undulate as you discover her weaknesses, and listen to her body language as you cover her with kisses. Trailing down her back with the tip of your tongue, Makes her hungry with anticipation.

Make love to her body as you seduce her mind, propelling her senses slowly into a crescendo of climactic pleasure, Hear the fierce beauty of her voice echoing in your ears... as you permeate every aspect of her imagination and reality. Make love to her in every way, tasting every inch of her flesh. She will remember every moment of your body upon hers. Seduce her mind, excite her imagination, tempt her senses, and unlock her deepest secrets... And embrace her soul. She will never leave your arms wanting more. A gentleman always remembers- Ladies first. Both, in the street And between the sheets.
9 Comments
Focus
Posted:Mar 16, 2024 5:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2024 2:51 am
4296 Views

“Focus intently and you’ll see the unseeable. The world she rarely shares with anyone; the darkest corners she scarcely visits herself. Henry Miller wrote that an indescribably magnificent world appears within anything or anyone the moment we pay closer attention. Notice the parts of her you’re only privy to if you truly listen while she speaks. Be attentive to her every detail. The subtle differences that make her, her. Unlike any other. See the constellations of faded birthmarks speckled across her skin or how the brown of her eyes is simply a layer atop a churning sea of hazel. See that some days she is distant, off in her head, and rarely smiles for hours while others she is keenly aware of her thoughts and actions, bubbling with joy and laughter. Focus intently and you’ll be gifted the subtleties of her magnificent hidden world like the nuances of her squeezes, the individual meanings while holding your hand, or the sordid conversations she has with you with nothing more than a gaze.”

—daily-esprit-descalier
21 Comments
Mastering the Mind
Posted:Mar 12, 2024 5:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2024 2:07 am
5907 Views
In the vast galaxy of BDSM, which is not a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the internet serves as a bustling marketplace where individuals proclaiming mastery are as numerous as stars in the night sky. Yet, amid this cacophony of self-proclaimed masters, there exists a profound distinction between those who merely speak of physical acts and those who understand the intricate dance of the mind within the BDSM dynamic.

For many, BDSM is not merely a physical indulgence but a multifaceted tapestry where the mental and emotional aspects intertwine with the physical. While some may revel solely in the physical sensations and power dynamics, others recognize that true mastery transcends mere physicality.

For many, the allure lies not only in the act of domination or submission but in the profound psychological exchange that occurs between partners. The consensual thrill of control, the surrender of power, and the exploration of boundaries are the threads that weave the fabric of BDSM into a rich and complex experience.

To a large number of people in the community physical play is but the icing on the cake, a tantalizing embellishment atop a foundation built upon trust, communication, and mutual understanding. It is the mental stimulation, the psychological journey shared between dominant and submissive, that forms the cornerstone of this lifestyle.

Mastery in BDSM is not simply measured by one's ability to wield a whip or bind with ropes but by their adeptness in navigating the intricate landscape of the mind. A true master or mistress recognizes the importance of psychological dominance, manipulating desire and anticipation, of delving into the deepest recesses of the psyche to unlock the true potential of their submissive.

In contrast, those who merely pay lip service to the title of master or mistress, focusing solely on the physical aspects of BDSM, often fail to grasp the true essence of the lifestyle. They may revel in the superficial trappings of power and control, but they lack the depth of understanding required to truly fulfill the needs of their submissive.

In the end, BDSM is a journey of self-discovery, a path that encompasses not only the body but the mind and soul as well. While physical play may provide gratification, it is the mental connection forged between partners that sustains and nourishes the true essence of BDSM. So, let us not be swayed by empty proclamations of mastery, but instead, let us seek those who understand that true dominance lies not in the whip, but in the mind.

©TLK2024
19 Comments
Sunrise, Sunrise.
Posted:Mar 10, 2024 10:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2024 2:43 am
6470 Views

The past week has been gloomy with ceaseless downpours, but I was fortunate enough to capture a stunning sunrise this morning. The sky was a canvas of vibrant colors, with a blend of deep orange, soft pink, and gentle purple hues. The clouds looked like fluffy cotton balls, and they were scattered all over the sky, creating an ethereal backdrop. As the sun emerged from the horizon, it cast a warm and radiant glow over the damp earth, illuminating every drop of rainwater. The dew on the leaves sparkled like diamonds, and the chirping birds added a sweet melody to the tranquil atmosphere. It was a breathtaking moment that left me awestruck and rejuvenated my soul
~M.

"Night never had the last word. The dawn is always invincible."
~~Hugh B. Brown


Photo By: Me
21 Comments
~Art Break
Posted:Mar 9, 2024 6:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2024 4:38 am
7313 Views
Artist: E Garcia Peña
11 Comments
Money Can't Buy It
Posted:Mar 8, 2024 4:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 10, 2024 7:59 am
7671 Views

Money Can't Buy It ~ Annie Lennox ~ Diva

Money can't buy it, baby
Sex can't buy it, baby
Drugs can't buy it, baby
You can't buy it, baby

I believe that love alone might do these things for you
I believe in love alone yea yea
Take the power to set you free
Kick down the door and throw away the key
Give up your needs
Your poisoned seeds
Find yourself elected to a different kind of creed

I believe that love alone might do these things for you
I believe that love alone might do these things for you
I believe in the power of creation
I believe in the good vibration
I believe in love alone yea yea

Won't somebody tell me what we're coming to
It might take forever till we watch those dreams come true
All the Money in the world won't buy you peace of mind
You can have it all but you still won't be satisfied

Money can't buy it, baby
Sex can't buy it, baby
Drugs can't buy it, baby
You can't buy it, baby

Now,
Hear this
Pay attention to me
'Cause I'm a rich white girl and it's plain to see
I got every kind of thing that the Money can buy
Let me tell you all about it
Let me amplify
I got diamonds?
You heard about those
I got so many that I can't close my safe at night in the dark
Lying awake in a sick dream

I believe that love alone might do these things for you
I believe that love alone might do these things for you
I believe in the power of creation
I believe in the good vibration
I believe in love alone yea yea
10 Comments
Something Beautiful
Posted:Mar 6, 2024 4:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2024 8:15 am
8961 Views


Exhaustion can make a woman appear beautiful. Her wet hair clings to her skin and her arms are tied in place in case she regains consciousness. She is drenched in the rhapsody of his orchestrations.
31 Comments

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